How it all turned out

I am officially a newlywed! I've been a wife, a married lady, a spouse, etc, for about a month and a half now. I've seen guest pictures, cell phone pictures, professional pictures, and even my wedding video- which I'll get to in a minute. We've opened our gifts and are making our way through the thank-yous, and I thought I'd recap it all for the 3 people who read this. (I kid, it doesn't matter, it's just a way for me to say what I want to say without being really public about it.)

So! We were married on November 16, 2012, and the day, as I was warned, went by in a flash. We'll start with the rehearsal and dinner, which was lovely, and really made it all real for me! We had a Thursday rehearsal (since we were married on a Friday, I think I mentioned that, for various reasons), and that was hectic as my now-husband couldn't take any more time off, so he rushed over to rehearsal with an overnight bag (we did it all old-fashioned and stayed at our parents' houses the night before!) at 5 pm. The rehearsal was mostly smooth, with the exception of the church coordinator being a bit rude, but overall it was a nice. I really felt that "oh migosh! I'm getting married!" feeling when I did my practice walk down the... well, it wasn't really an aisle, but we'll call it that anyway. :)

We had dinner at a nice Chinese restaurant near the church and our apartment, which my MIL actually picked out. It had a little private room with A/V equipment so we could play our cheesy power point and everything, plus they were super nice about me being picky and let me choose a dish not on the pre-determined menu. 

After dinner, Brandon and I said our goodnights and went off to get some sleep. I slept, amazingly, partially due to lack of distractions (my whole family was out at the reception setting up) and I think also due to exhaustion. I did wake up oddly early, around 6 am, which is unheard of for me! I wasn't particularly hungry, but I tried to eat some oatmeal while my brother followed me about, asking me questions. All the while, I attempted to remember all the things I had to do that day- I know, I'm insane. I needed to get my rings cleaned, buy lipstick because I'd lost the one I wanted to wear, and get my hair done. So I showered, blow dried my hair partially dry, and headed out the door. 

The people at the jewelry store were astonished to see me there, as they'd been there with us the whole way- I picked out all my jewelry thankyouverymuch, because as I've said... I'm picky. But they got my rings super shiny and sparkly. I may need to visit them again soon... the hard water in our apartment is not kind to my rings. 

A few hours later, as I sat in the chair getting my hair put up, I started thinking about how by the end of the day, I'd be married- finally. It was still so far away! It took nearly 2 hours to get it all done up, and around 1:15, I headed over to the church to get dressed, put my makeup on, and get married dangit! 

As I drove, I realized I was starving, but I didn't have time to stop *and* get dressed! So I went ahead and called up all my bridesmaids one by one, because none of them were answering. Finally I got one, and my lovely Cristina agreed to pick me up some Quizno's! When I got to the church, Hilary was already there, and we went to the bride's room to get ready together. Unfortunately, we couldn't get in. It was locked. I panicked. I searched the building for someone- anyone- to open the door. No one. I went over to the church's office, and thankfully there was someone in there, who called the coordinator to come unlock the door. She was there within 10 minutes, and we were off and running. 

By the time our photographer arrived, I was dressed, made-up, and hyperventilating, hoping I would manage to hold down the half a sandwich I'd eaten. He came in the bride's room and was accompanied by someone else. Someone with a video camera hooked up to some fancy equipment. My videographer. One of the best gifts I've ever gotten. Now that I've had one, I recommend them to everyone! Of course, mine was free to me, since my wonderful brother, Anthony, hired a friend of his who's a professional film maker to shoot my wedding. After seeing my wedding video on Christmas, I can't find the words to express my joy. It was a wonderful, wonderful gift. 

Cut to me walking down the sort-of aisle. I'll be honest- I bawled. Totally caught me by surprise, and made everyone around me have to avert their eyes so as to avoid crying them out as well. But I was so, so happy! I wanted to run and jump into his arms! But I was a proper bride, and I walked, at a somewhat slower pace. After 5 and a half years, we were married. 

Our ceremony was lovely, our reception was beautiful, and it was easily one of the best days of my life- and I hope there are many wonderful days to come.

A few things I'll mention, for those of you planning and freaking out. It was not perfect, it was not flawless, but it was mine and it was awesome. I forgot to bring my pearl necklace- but it didn't really matter. The priest announced us as "Mr and Mrs Brandon Gomez", which made me scowl, but I got over it. The plates and silverware used by the caterers were disposable- which I'd specifically requested they NOT use, but I let it go. We forgot to do some of those traditional things like cake cutting (wasn't a priority for me), bouquet toss (just didn't think of it), or the dollar dance (which my mom says is tacky anyway), but in the end... we were still married, still in love, and it was still all over. The planning, the headaches, the stupid little details all came together and it was lovely. And now, I'll shut up, and let the pictures tell the story. 

The biggest piece of advice I can give you...

So far I've covered a variety of things that can help you plan a budget wedding, including invitations, photography, etc, etc. It's now 7 months into my engagement and wedding planning, and I have discovered the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak.

Guests. That's it. Guests. Having a smaller guest list will save you money. SO much money. It's simple, really. More guests add costs all over the place, not just in the catering department. For instance, our venue comes with 13 tables that can seat 10 people each. I'm expecting about 150 people, so I need to rent at least 2 more tables. And 20 more chairs. And two more table cloths. It's insane, and you probably won't think about it until you start adding up costs, but it's absolutely true. 

There are pros and cons to both small (intimate) and larger weddings, and obviously each bride and groom is different in their preferences. Personally, I'd rather have a small wedding because I can actually spend time with my guests, I will know everyone pretty well, and it would save a lot of money. It didn't work out that way, simply because my extended family is large and I was sort of guilted into inviting everyone. But if having a small wedding or if keeping costs low is important to you, stick to your guns!

This is the biggest money-saving advice I can give you. A guest list of 75 people can easily bring the total cost of a DIY wedding down around or around $5,000. Add 25 more people, and you're looking at around $7,000. I'm not saying it can't be done both ways. There are ways to have a lot of people for not much money, but it will take a lot of savvy and know-how. And there are limits. You can't have a guest list of 500 people and want to only spend $5000, unless you're just inviting everyone to your JOP ceremony and not having a reception! Most of this is common sense, but some of it you may not figure out until 2 months till your wedding (like me...lesson learned!).

Planning a wedding has taught me so much. I have learned that, although I won't have the wedding I dreamed of, I will have my wedding and it will be awesome. But my planning has also taught me that when the day comes for my daughters to have quinceneras or sweet sixteen (they'll be half white, half hispanic, so they can choose!), I'll be able to plan that for cheap. And I'll be able to give my children advice for their own weddings. So live, learn, and love. But mostly love. :)

It's OK if...

Today, I'm going to be writing a post that I hope will make you feel better if you're struggling to cut costs, because there have been times that I've felt that way!

Reading about budget weddings can be one of two things, and occasionally, both. It can be really helpful in planning your own wedding and learning where to cut costs, or it can be really depressing for one reason or another. Sometimes, you can have mixed emotions about the blogs, tumblr sites, pinterest boards, etc. I know. I've been there. In fact, I just finished looking over one lovely wedding page that made me want to cry. It was a beautiful wedding, with an adorable couple who even managed to keep their wedding eco-friendly as well as low budget! I'm not sure about the details, but I know I walked away from that feeling mostly let down about my own wedding. Here's why:

1- The bride bought her dress for 25 cents at a thrift store. A freakin' quarter. No joke. And yeah, it was adorable.

2- They got married outside. I sooo badly wanted an outdoor ceremony! (Catholic church doesn't allow it. I know. Weird.)

3- Their photographer was still amazing.

4- They had a beautiful reception.

Now, my wedding is still about 3.5 months away, so I could easily have great pictures and a lovely reception, but I'm spending more than them, so I darn well hope so! But more often than not, when I'm reading about budget weddings, I see things that make me so mad. Things that make me say, "Some people have ALL the luck!" Like the fact that this girl got her dress for a quarter! I would've been JAZZED to get mine under $200, but that wasn't to be. So anyway, I was feeling bummed out, because in my wedding planning, I've had no such luck. I picked a terrible time to get married- all my bridesmaids will be in school (one in MED school!) or working, so my help is limited. My mom is a great help, but it's basically just the two of us. We can DIY some things, but not EVERYTHING. Anyway, I started thinking and here's what I came up with.

First, when you're planning a wedding, you need to be happy with your choices and your ideas. If you try to please everyone, or certain people, etc, you won't be happy, and it won't matter if you spent $100 or $1 million.
Second, you need to be realistic about what you and the people offering to help you can actually do. If you have 40 friends or neighbors offering to help, you can get a heck of a lot done on your own. If it's just you... do what you can, but take time to relax. I think it's okay to spend a little more money on an area you can't realistically do on your own, for whatever reason.
Third, keep the focus on the reasons for the wedding. Always.
Fourth, take time off wedding stuff.
And fifth, don't spend too much time getting all bent out of shape over how someone spent less or someone got this or that.

Simply put- a wedding is a big deal. But it doesn't have to wear on your soul. Let go of the little things, and when the actual day gets here, make sure you get around to enjoying the momentous occasion!

Just for fun...

I thought I'd share something entertaining for y'all. All... what, 10 people who've read this? Lol I'm kidding, I don't care. I'd even be fine with this being more like a diary, but I digress.

So I recently moved out of my parents' house after living there for 23 years. (I know, I know, but hey, I saved A LOT of money!) As you may have guessed, I'm getting married, and my mother is doing my alterations. My wonderful mama made her own wedding dress, so I entrusted her with the task of perfecting mine. I opted out of her making the whole thing, because we've made a few dresses before, and usually we just argue over the littlest things, so I wanted to nip that in the bud and buy my own dress. I did have a small budget, and ended up with a popular David's Bridal choice, but I love it and I feel that I've made it my own. Anyway, I'd gone over for a fitting, and when I got there, my mom was napping. Not wanting to disturb her, I went into what used to be my bedroom. I was shocked to find that it was almost unrecognizable! My walls, which I'd painted turquoise when I was about 12 years old, were now baby blue. My furniture was being moved out of the room, and the carpet was being ripped out. My walk in closet was completely bare, with the exception of my wedding dress hanging on the bar. On the bed, there were various objects, including my mirror, organization items, pens, a stool... and in the middle, lay something satiny, lacy and about the color of honey butter. It was my mother's wedding dress.

Now, I'd seen it before, in pictures, and at one point, it'd hung in my closet, long before my own dress. I'd even attempted to put it on once as a young girl, and it, of course, hung off of me. It consisted of two parts: a tea-length dress with a sweetheart neckline and pearl straps, and a lacy jacket. It's from the eighties, but it doesn't have the giant Diana-esque sleeves, thank goodness. It's not my taste, but I never fail to be amazed at the fact that she made it.

Anyway, I picked it up and examined it. My first observation was that I would've been driven insane by the lace jacket. I've got a skin sensitivity thing. But I was bored and decided to try it on. All of it. jacket, dress, AND veil. Mind you, I've already resolved to nix the veil for my own wedding, as I've never cared for them, and after wedding dress shopping and having them thrust upon me, I still don't like them. I kind of liked one. Only kind of.

So I changed into my mother's wedding dress. I couldn't button the jacket, because it buttoned up the back, but I got a good idea of the full look by holding the back together. It was freaky. Mostly because the dang thing FIT. FIT! My mother, who currently has like triple D cups, was once MY SIZE. I couldn't believe it! Neither could she, when she saw me in it. She said, and I quote, "Oh, that's freaky."

And now, I give you- me, in my mother's wedding dress!

(Forgive my bad photography and the awkward look on my face.)

A bit of a rant

I've got a bit of a chip on my shoulder about something. That something is diamonds. Everywhere I look, they're talking about them. I'm talking about the rings, ladies and gentlemen. Now I know about diamonds and how they're forever, they're super hard, they're shiny and sparkly and a girl's best friend... But let's get real. Aren't there some women OTHER than myself who just don't get it?! I mean, they're... white. They're... plain. Sure they're worth bookoos of moolah, but what is the big deal? I like SAPPHIRES, and blue topaz! I like emeralds and tanzanite! I *love* pearls, in all shapes and colors. In short... I like some COLOR! After all, I am a white girl marrying a hispanic man whose skin is a delicious shade of brown like an iced latte. I like shades and hues of various areas of the visible part of the eletromagnetic spectrum. I find it fascinating that we see certain colors because light reflects those colors or absorbs others. So I don't get it. Why are women so content with having the same stone as everyone else?! In fact, I'm hard-pressed to find a woman who doesn't love diamonds! It drives me nutso. I've got a sapphire. It's small, has two white sapphires alongside it, and it's absolutely perfect. I chose it, and between you and me, it cost nothing compared to what it would've run me had I swapped out the stones for diamonds of the same size. I don't know the carat size and frankly I don't care. Size doesn't matter, because I've got these tiny little fingers that would look weird with some honking rock hanging off it. Plus, I'm so cheap, it's not even funny. I couldn't bear to let Brandon spend the same on my engagement ring as I did on my current car. So we picked this out together and we both walked away happy. He asked me if I was sure several times, but considering I still smile when it sparkles in the sunlight, I think we both know the answer now. Even if I did want something big, I probably would've spent much less on the ring, simply by passing on those stupid diamonds. White sapphires, cubic zircona, and mossanite all have that clear white look of diamonds without the price tag, and seriously, who's going to know? I just can't rationalize spending several thousand dollars on a ring, especially considering how much you could do with that money. An average (diamond, what else?) engagement ring supposedly costs $5000. For that amount, I could pay for about 3 months of rent, groceries, gas, cable, and cell phone bills. I could buy a used car in decent condition. I could go to Europe for a few weeks. I could plan a small wedding. I could visit several cities in the US. Of course, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything. I just want to find some people who agree with me. Hello? Anyone there? Hello? I feel like the only girl in the world when it comes to these stupid rings. 

Another thing that influenced my decision was the blood diamond thing. I couldn't possibly sleep at night knowing that some poor African kid had to slave away digging for days or weeks or months to find the very diamond I had on my finger. I know there are places that claim to have conflict-free diamonds, but how can I be sure? I can't. So, no diamonds it was. 

If anyone out there has similar views, please comment, and let me know I'm not crazy or alone. If you have a non-diamond engagement ring, post a pic! I'd love to see it! 

My ring!

Budget Weddings: Invites, Save the Dates, and Photography

The first thing I'm going to say may make some people upset, but I'm going to say it anyway. Stationary gets thrown away. Very few people are going to save your invites, save the dates, bridal shower invites, etc. If, after realizing this, you still MUST have those expensive embossed invites, by all means, go for it! The rest of you, read on!

Save the dates are, first and foremost, OPTIONAL! The Knot may have you believe otherwise, but here's the thing: many of your guests over a certain age will not understand what they are, and you'll find yourself explaining that it's not the invitation over and over. If you still want to do them, pick a cheap option. 

The first option is to snap a picture of the two of you holding a sign with all the information you want on it, send the picture to your local Walgreen's or CVS or Target photo center, and make 100 or so copies. Each picture will run between 15 and 30 cents a piece, so you'll only spend $15-30 for 100 save the dates! (Postage, envelopes, etc, not included) 

Another inexpensive option is to make a simple design with your names, date and location (or have a design savvy friend design one) and print off several per page (postcard size is usually perfect) at a place like Office Max or FedEx office. Color prints cost under a dollar per page, so you can spend around $45-75 for 100. 

Lastly, there's the option of VistaPrint, which personally, I find too expensive for save the dates. These run about $8 for 10, which would cost you over $80 for 100. However, this is a fairly inexpensive option for those who are not the DIY-type. 

I went with the photo option, because 1) I think some people *might* actually save it, 2) It was easily the cheapest option next to not sending any, 3) It was a lot of fun doing the photo shoot with my fiance in my parent's backyard with my youngest brother (13!) photographing us (and doing a bang-up job!). I actually made a collage of pictures, and it was so cute I'll definitely keep a copy! It was also easier to stick with my theme this way, as my wedding is taking place in an antique schoolhouse, so we're having a vintage schoolhouse theme. 

Onto invites. Vistaprint is a great option, because I'd rather spend a tad more on the invites than the save the dates. These run between $7-20 for 10, making them $70-200 for 100. Again, it's up to you. If you really love the $16 ones, get them. It's your wedding. But if you're on a budget, this is one of those areas to consider cutting costs.

Another option is to buy those simple invitation sets at Target, Walmart, etc. They're about $20 at Walmart for 50, so $40 for 100. They usually include RSVP cards, envelopes, and the invitation itself, and allow for easy customization. Printing will cost about another 50 cents to a dollar each invitation, so you'll spend about 50-100 dollars there, plus the $40 for the kits. 

My personal choice? I bought a PDF of Etsy that was designed by a wonderful Australian woman ($30) and printed them off at Office Max for a total of maybe $110, not including envelopes or stamps. Another tip: don't include a return envelope and stamp for the RSVP card. Have people RSVP by calling, or online. The Knot has some GREAT tools for this. You upload all your guests into the guest list, make a wedding website, and people can RSVP on your website! It's all free! Saves you about $1 or so per invitation, plus you have one less piece of paper to keep track of. You can even call people who haven't responded, and RSVP for them online. (Or delegate that joyful task to a willing or unwilling friend or family member)

Next stop: pictures! When looking for a wedding photographer, you need to consider a few things. One- You will save these pictures for years to come. Two- Not all amateurs are created equal. Three- This may be one of those areas you don't want to slash costs to the bare bones. My recommendation is to contact a few professionals in your area and see if they'd be willing to shoot your wedding for a base fee without a package attached. Many understand, with the economy how it is, that young couples (and in many cases, not so young couples) are trying to save money, and will be more than willing to accomodate. They may have some provisions, such as you would have to allow them the right to publish your photos or use them in their portfolio, but these are not a big deal. Our photographer agreed to shoot our wedding and give us a CD of all our pictures for $500, and he is a highly experienced professional. We can decide to print copies of these photos at Walgreen's at a lower cost, and if we can afford it later, purchase a package from him of some of our favorite shots. This option is very budget-friendly, and allows you to get quality photographs without the hefty package prices. 

If you cannot find a professional willing to do this, or their prices are still more than you can afford, check with amateurs. Be warned, however, that the less experience someone has, the more likely you are to run into problems. A very inexperienced photographer may not be able to capture all the shots that a professional can. In this case, you'll more than likely find that you get what you pay for. If you find someone who's really great that you think is a good deal, that's awesome. I don't recommend getting a family member or guest to take pictures, because then they won't get to enjoy themselves. The best advice for going with amateurs is to meet with them, ask about their experience, and take a look at their portfolio. If you're not sure, ask them to do an engagement session first. That way, you can see first-hand their techniques and abilities. Afterwards, you can decide whether to hire them for the wedding or not. 

Another topic related to photography is videography. Personally, I am not having a videographer, because they are so expensive in my area. Plus, I kind of love the way most wedding videos I've seen look- shaky, unfocused half the time, and home-video-esque. Mostly because they all have been home videos! But if you're looking into this option, expect to pay quite a bit, due to the time-consuming process of editing videos. You can also hire an amateur, as with the photographer, but again, make sure you see their work first. As with photography, it's best not to make some family member work at your wedding, but if someone offers... Take them up on it! I'll be relying on a family member to film my wedding, but I'm making it easy by saying not to worry about quality, editing, etc. I think it will be fun to watch the video later and laugh at how I can hear my grandpa grunting the whole time and how I can see my flower girl picking apart the flower petals. But again, it's your wedding, and you can do whatever you want!

My next post on weddings will be about decorations for the ceremony and reception, and flowers. 

Hope these are helpful! 

Wedding Planning on a Budget: Ceremony and Reception Venues

When I first got engaged, I had it in my stubborn head that I would absolutely not spend more than $5,000 on the entire thing. I was convinced that I would be able to do it because I'm very thrifty and don't like to spend a lot on anything, let alone one silly day. 


I have learned a lot in planning my own wedding. Mostly, I learned that it's not impossible, just tricky. It takes a lot of searching and work, and I sincerely applaud those who can pull it off. I'm not one of them. I chose to abandon my budget and go a little above that $5,000 budget to get what I really wanted as opposed to having to stress about price as much. I'm still spending considerably less than the average American wedding costs, which is usually priced around $20,000, but I'm okay with going over my original budget. 


However, for those of you who are searching high and low in San Antonio or surrounding areas, I can help you out. There are many ways to stay under $5,000 without having to sacrifice the ideal wedding you've always envisioned, it just takes a little more effort. 


The first thing that you need to consider in lowering costs is venue. Most churches have a low fee or ask for a donation, so those are always a good option for the ceremony. Even non-religious couples can have a church wedding at a location like the Church at La Villita with a non-denominational minister. You can even have a friend or family member marry you in a backyard or park, as long as they are ordained. It's a very simple process and can be done 100% online. Marriage Island, on the River Walk, is a great, inexpensive option for marriage ceremonies. http://marriageisland.webs.com/ratesservices.htm


Generally speaking, ceremonies can be done at a reasonable cost. Of course, places that allow for both ceremony and reception can be pricey, especially in the Hill Country, country clubs and golf courses. Inexpensive reception options include parks, suburban "club" houses and lodges, and some interesting places you've never considered. With any reception venue comes some kind of caveat. Parks are usually really cheap to rent out, but they don't allow you to play loud music. Neighborhood lodges and club houses may not be available to rent if you don't live in the area. The Great Northwest Lodge is $250 for 6 hours, but you if you are serving alcohol, you have to pay a fee and hire mandatory security guards. This is still a good deal, but you also have to be a member of their home owners association... or know someone who is! Visit http://www.greatnorthwest.org/item_detail.asp?id=179&itemdesc=GNW+Lodge+Rental for more information. 


The Leon Valley Community Center is another inexpensive option- only $800-850 for a Saturday wedding. 
http://www.leonvalleytexas.gov/reserve/docs/Community_Center_Prices_052606__2_.pdf
There are several different locations available in Schertz for reasonable prices. http://schertz.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/SchertzRentalFacilities-RentalRatesPre-LeaseInformation.pdf


Another great option for receptions that's a tad pricier is the Koelher House near San Antonio College. For a smaller wedding (125 or less guests), you can rent the facility for $900 for 5 hours, or $975 for 6 hours. It's a unique place to have a reception, and you can use any caterer. http://www.alamo.edu/sac/koehler/ Many expensive places require you to use their caterer, which usually makes the bill skyrocket. 


My fiance and I took a look at Depot 3, part of Sunset Station, because they only charge $200 for the room. They have a few other locations that are priced  low, as well, but the catering is where they get you. Personally, I can't stand to pay $22 a head for Mexican food, because I think Mexican food should always be cheap. But if you're having a small wedding, it could still end up being worth your money, so check out Sunset Station! http://www.sunset-station.com/

Now most of these places require a bit of sprucing, but the low cost leaves room in your budget for decorations. If you're not particularly crafty, however, you may want to opt for a place that needs fewer decorations. These places are inherently more expensive, but there are some tricks of the trade that can still keep costs down. 


One thing you can do to cut costs is have your wedding off-season. This varies among vendors, so check with the places you like first, because some consider November "off-season", while others don't. If you are set on having a  May wedding (always "in-season"), consider having your wedding on a weekday. For instance, a Thursday, and even in some cases, a Friday or Sunday wedding will save on costs. Typically, this will also decrease your guest list significantly, because many will be unable to attend due to work and/or school schedules. 


The Botanical Gardens offer many locations for weddings. Most are small, (100 or fewer), but the locations are so beautifully maintained that you'll save a ton on decorations. They have different prices for daytime and evening weddins: 
http://www.sabot.org/ama/orig/Daytime-Web-Rental-Rates-2009.pdf
http://www.sabot.org/ama/orig/Evening-Web-Rental-Rates-2009.pdf

Also, check out church community centers and event centers. These are often reasonably priced, have large spaces, and provide a set amount of tables, chairs, linens, etc. For an example, check out: http://www.holyspiritsa.org/site_res_view_template.aspx?id=2d034f04-5e25-4925-bab9-df9c41bdb76b.

I hope this information has been useful! Check back soon for more wedding planning tips. I plan to cover photography, invites, and save the dates in my next entry!